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About Varied / Student The Bunny PrinceMale/Unknown Group :iconkemonomimiguys: KemonomimiGuys
Animal ears on dudes? YES!
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Deviant for 10 Years
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Statistics 760 Deviations 28,028 Comments 103,430 Pageviews
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Please Read, thank you

Wed Aug 16, 2017, 9:37 AM

It's been ten years since I am on DeviantArt. I loaded a ton of art up, 759 pieces of different things: fan art, original art, photos and half done comics. I meet some super nice people, a lot of them left, some of them stayed. For the first time I bought a Core Membership a month ago, after some wonderful person bought one for me. And since then, I made some polls and frequently asked about Drawlloween. I thought it will go on like this forever. But since the end of last year, I am feeling that art isn't something I want to do right now. First it was just huge demotivation until it's now impossible to do any art at all; I just don't want to, also because I don't even know what I want to draw anymore. Well, it's a shock for me too. It's like someone pushed a button. It was my dream, my passion, nearly all I lived for. I've pushed myself through all the art blocks I had and tried since ten years to get a foot in the door and two years ago I made a Tumblr account too. I am really thankful for all the people who came and looked on my art, liked it and encouraged me. But look at me, where I am now 10 years later? Actually nowhere. I fucked it up, messed myself up, messed my art up and everything else too. Oh yes, I hear those guys telling me, that popularity isn't important, that you do art because you love art, well that's great. But I want to have an art career, like Loish or Sakimi-Chan maybe, and not just doing stuff, to do the stuff itself. I wanted to sell stuff, I want to be able to finally buy Birthday/Christmas gifts and make a living with art. But I got worn out, broke myself, while trying to please everyone and lost myself in between. My wrists are damaged, my eyes also and I don't have any glimmer of fun doing art right now. I always thought giving my very best and working hard will do the thing but that was utterly wrong. The art industry changed a lot since I began drawing and 15 years ago I would had a chance but now? I don't think so. 95 pics a year, 8 in a month, 2 in a week, every 3 days and that approximately 8 full years long. Well, I can say that I really tried. But looking on the statistics and all the stuff I loaded up, the bitter truth is, that so little people care about my art that it was pure waste of time and energy. I've failed very hard and I don't even know if I will do art in the future again. By the feeling I have now and had over the past months, I really can't tell. Yes I worked hard on everything, but I wasn't consequent enough, it was all too diffuse. I drew a lot but worked on the wrong ends. What can I say to my parents and friends and at all? I have nothing to show; and wasted ten years of my life doing all the wrong things. I know, I have a lot of weaknesses with learning and all but I tried to push through, instead of working with them. I thought, that if I am an artist that loves art will do something, but the truth is, it's an industry and I did way too less. I was a dumb kid that still believed in the 'Heart of the Cards'(Yu-gi-oh) and that the universe will lead me. I don't want to sound over dramatic but I feel shattered. DeviantArt was ten years, a whole decade, a huge part of my life. I checked on it every day and I always believed that I can do it but now that I see, that all was for some sweet nothings and trivialities, I just can't cope with it anymore. It seems that it's time for me to accept that this will lead nowhere and simply let go. I need to recover and find to myself again. I hope that one day, I feel able to make a fresh start and will be reborn from my own ashes and becoming something new. I have to see what future will bring and I let you all know about future decisions. But for now there's nothing left for me as to say good bye and good luck. May all your dreams come true and that you'll always feel inspired on all the paths you'll walk on. Enjoy your life and stay safe y'all.



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:iconseanymilk:
seanymilk Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday my friend :huggle:
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:iconyuki-almasy:
Yuki-Almasy Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2017  Student General Artist
Thank you so much! :hug:Pink - heart 
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:iconanime-fan1998:
anime-fan1998 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday :cake:
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:iconyuki-almasy:
Yuki-Almasy Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2017  Student General Artist
Thank you!! :love:
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:iconanime-fan1998:
anime-fan1998 Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
no problem ^^
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