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About Varied / Student Core Member The Bunny PrinceMale/Unknown Group :iconkemonomimiguys: KemonomimiGuys
Animal ears on dudes? YES!
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Deviant for 10 Years
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Pippi Longstocking by Yuki-Almasy Pippi Longstocking :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 40 5 And Now You're Mine by Yuki-Almasy And Now You're Mine :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 51 3 I Fucking Hate You by Yuki-Almasy
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I Fucking Hate You :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 51 3
Mysterious Merfolk by Yuki-Almasy Mysterious Merfolk :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 56 3 Twin Collab by Yuki-Almasy Twin Collab :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 17 2 I feel the Wonder by Yuki-Almasy I feel the Wonder :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 78 5 Home Alone Party by Yuki-Almasy Home Alone Party :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 42 2 Fun Boy by Yuki-Almasy Fun Boy :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 43 1 Unicorn by Yuki-Almasy Unicorn :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 57 8 Happy 25th Anniversary Kirby by Yuki-Almasy Happy 25th Anniversary Kirby :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 37 2 A Big Thank You by Yuki-Almasy A Big Thank You :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 33 3 Witchy by Yuki-Almasy Witchy :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 52 3 Ice Tea by Yuki-Almasy Ice Tea :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 44 2 Easter Greetings by Yuki-Almasy Easter Greetings :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 39 4 Tea by Yuki-Almasy Tea :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 41 3 Sporty Demon by Yuki-Almasy Sporty Demon :iconyuki-almasy:Yuki-Almasy 19 1


♡ | Quote | ♡
It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.
Pablo Picasso

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆ More About Me ⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

Gordian Knot

Wed May 24, 2017, 2:55 AM
So, I am going to talk a little about art-styles and my thoughts in general. Well, two years ago I already written a text like this but then never put it up on the internet. I felt too insecure about the topic and at all. I read the old text and it's still the same as back then. I am astounded that I made this little progress in matter of growth. Haha But I feel the need to address this theme again and to organize my thoughts.

I worked my butt off to draw animeresque semi-realism. It's what I always wanted to do and to archive that, was my main goal. But back then and now, I am not satisfied with drawing it. It's like a blockage, I have to force myself to draw like this and it's no fun at all. I read from several artists, that you always should do the harder thing, that's what brings you to a higher level of what you can be, or think you can be. And I agree to some point but also, I am not sure that that's the best way. Everyone is different and not every approach works for every person. Sure, you should always challenge yourself and keep learning but if it leads to stress and frustration, it will not be profitable for your health and art. Of course,you can fight through it but what if you are not strong enough to always push yourself to your limits, like me? Will I stagnate, if I stop drawing in half-realistic ways? Will I walk backwards, if I draw more what brings me fun instead of constantly pushing myself? Ultimately, I don't know.  

There was a man once, his name was John William Godward. He wanted to become an artist at any costs, so he moved to Italy and even as his family repudiate him because of it, he strived to become as perfect as he could be. He was a master in drawing skin, marble and any sorts of fabric and also in drawing realistic in general. But he committed suicide at age 61 with the words written: 'the world is not big enough for myself and a Picasso'. So what can we take away from this tragic story...? Well, Picasso said 'It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.' Maybe, that it's not the ultimate goal to draw and paint as realistic as possible. If it's your goal, go for it but it's not 'THE' goal. What 'THE' goal is, is up to you. But what is my goal...?

Deep inside me, even when it's a fact, it's hard for me to really feel the fact that every drawing style is equal. When I really can go with the flow and have fun, my drawing looks extremely different to what it looks like, when I put all energy into it. But if I put a lot of energy in it, it becomes an absolute chore drawing that pic. And for every hour I work on it, frustration rises, until I just hate to work on it. And now I stare on the blank canvas and switch from what I 'should' do, to what I 'want' to do. I want to have fun but I also don't want to... I don't know, leave the ability to draw beautiful bodies and alike. There pics I drew recently, I am absolutely not satisfied with, but I couldn't bring it to a better outcome because it was a real fight. My mind rebelled like I would do something painful while drawing and therefore, I drew pics that are way bellow my best. But I have the feeling, when I go away from drawing more realistic, that it's worth less and will not be seen as 'valid' art; even though I see all art as equal, it's like I just couldn't accept myself. And also, I am more into 'realistic' stuff, like the TV series 'Hannibal' and 'Sherlock (Holmes)' etc. how should I address this kind of things with a less realistic style? How can I draw them beautiful/sexy/admirable? I don't know what 'feels right' to me, or how to archive it.

Due to my abusive past, I crave for love and attention, especially for my art. Art was what could make me happy and I had/have passion for. Some people do not care about attention or popularity at all and I work hard on myself, to make it a lesser role in my life but it's nevertheless a huge part of an art career and a need for people to go forward, pulled from the love and admiration of others. The fact is, that people are not as healthy or balanced as they should be and struggling, fighting with the thought of giving up; but if you log in and there is someone who says, that your work is great and it was worth it, or gotten some likes etc... that gives the power to keep going. So of course I want to please my audience... but overall I am just confused what people like and what I should draw, or even want to draw.

It's a constant progress of drawing and deleting; keeping things for later and never touch it again. Do I want to pursue art as an career? Yes. But how should I ever archive that or anything at all, when I am just a bundle of insecureness. I gone so much forth and back, left and right that I am a gordian knot, unable to undo or even loosen it. It's unbelievable hard for me to get anything done and my mental health is a huge reason why. I do love art so much but I am always so torn. It's five years now, that I feel like this and every month that passes feels like I wasted opportunities. Time runs and I'm helpless with all my thoughts and overall. My inner blockage and confusion is constantly hinder me to go forth. Well, I am an realist and I know that it will be better at some point in the future... but you have to make step by step, to get there even if you feel utterly powerless. I really want it to be better and I draw and will eventually overcome it. But right now and the past five years were really hard.  

I had to write all this down, I just had to. And now, I'll putting this in the aether of the internet, to set it free and keep trying to go forth. But whoever read this, thank you; it means a lot that you took the time to read about the confused thoughts of an artist. Hopefully you will have a wonderful day or night.



Yuki :: Weirdo :: INFJ
Pixel Sparkle animation NF2U by Nerdy-pixel-girl Pixel Sparkle animation NF2U by Nerdy-pixel-girl

Hi! As you probably know already, my name is Yuki!✨
I'm a male artist which love to draw a lot of different stuff, including Yaoi and Boys Love! Yes, I know the most people can't imagine a male person who like those things but I'm real! Haha I'm generally against all kind of “brands“ which put people into boxes. I'm not gay, or Bi or whatever; I am just me. Love is love and sex is sex -nothing more, nothing less.
Free ❤ man!

1247 by glovannas 45 by s-k-i-e-s
coding by hostile-elf

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Meet the Artist by Yuki-Almasy

ᵒϟ Thunderstorms ϟᵒ 

53 deviants said Fascinating ♥
52 deviants said Scary and Fascinating ♡
9 deviants said Scary ᵒ◦


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I read every comment, see every fav and Watch and although I can't answer on them, they mean the world to me. No word is for vain and I keep them in my heart. Thanks a million!! You keep me going! Flashing Heart Bullet (Pink) by Gasara


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Cybelle-Ai Featured By Owner 10 hours ago  New Deviant Professional General Artist
i love your art!
i am Harry potter fan too
kaoskatastrofy Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the lama !
Yuki-Almasy Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Student General Artist
You are very welcome! :la::heart:
a723547366 Featured By Owner May 2, 2017
Thank you for the llama
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